They say time is your best friend and your worst enemy. "They" are typically movie actors with one-liners and momentous conversations about life, love, and what not. I suppose they are right though. When you're down in the dumps, time seems to be the only thing to lift you back up....only after dragging you down for what feels like eternity. I'm sure that will be the case with my recovery. The first time I went through ACL surgery, I didn't really have a strong grasp on what the timeline would be like. Doctors and PTs and google give you all sorts of opinions and broad statements, but really, it's a process. It's time. Up and down with tons of push and pull. It's a roller coaster. Might as well enjoy the ride rather than fight it, right?
That's not my gripe with time. As of this morning, I have a fish to fry with TIMING. All things considered, I've enjoyed my 4 weeks of post-ACL tear slash pre-op. I drive. I walk. I move. I work out. I possess valid and coherent thoughts and jokes. I'm me. The timing can't be terrible, because I haven't been hating my use of time...ya dig?! (And helloo...I was on DWTS). That changed this morning. Why? What could possibly make me feel existentially pissed off at the tick-tock of my two-legged paradise?
MAGGOTS.
That's right. Maggots. In my baking flour. On my coffee cups. And totally inconsiderate of the fact that I have a lot of crap to get done before I succumb to my couch and droopy disposition in 3 days. What do you do when you have maggots? Seriously. I honestly have no clue. I wasn't even sure I knew what maggots looked like until my friend told me. I thought I had termites. Where did these guys come from? My walls? Outside? Are they hatching minute by minute? I've only lived in my place for 3 months...less actually. Were they living there before? My guess is yes. Somebody pulled the wool over my eyes. OMG. HAVE I EATEN A MAGGOT?! They are so small! I feel like they're crawling all over me now that I know!! Do they like cool places? Dark? Can they get into my refrigerator? How fast to they move? Ugh. I did the only logical thing a poor, unfortunate, maggot-occupied-apartment living, severed-ACL woman could do. I texted my mom.
That's not my gripe with time. As of this morning, I have a fish to fry with TIMING. All things considered, I've enjoyed my 4 weeks of post-ACL tear slash pre-op. I drive. I walk. I move. I work out. I possess valid and coherent thoughts and jokes. I'm me. The timing can't be terrible, because I haven't been hating my use of time...ya dig?! (And helloo...I was on DWTS). That changed this morning. Why? What could possibly make me feel existentially pissed off at the tick-tock of my two-legged paradise?
MAGGOTS.
That's right. Maggots. In my baking flour. On my coffee cups. And totally inconsiderate of the fact that I have a lot of crap to get done before I succumb to my couch and droopy disposition in 3 days. What do you do when you have maggots? Seriously. I honestly have no clue. I wasn't even sure I knew what maggots looked like until my friend told me. I thought I had termites. Where did these guys come from? My walls? Outside? Are they hatching minute by minute? I've only lived in my place for 3 months...less actually. Were they living there before? My guess is yes. Somebody pulled the wool over my eyes. OMG. HAVE I EATEN A MAGGOT?! They are so small! I feel like they're crawling all over me now that I know!! Do they like cool places? Dark? Can they get into my refrigerator? How fast to they move? Ugh. I did the only logical thing a poor, unfortunate, maggot-occupied-apartment living, severed-ACL woman could do. I texted my mom.
She obviously pulled through and told me they are "gross little bugs that like powdery stuff." I see we share the same inherent need for tween-esq descriptors via text. She also confirmed that these white losers were not, in fact, termites. Love ya, Mom.
So I sat at work, which has been quite busy with the general act of trying to anticipate the crap that will go on during my short-lived absence next week. Tall order. And you know what I did? I imagined all of the little places these maggots might be living. Good god I hope they are only in the 2 cabinets that I found them in. You know when you jump up on a countertop and grab whatever you need from the top shelf? I can't freaking do that! The act of viewing my high-shelf components is so slow that I actually feel like maggots will jump out and attack me before I can even full extend up there!
They are EXTREMELY small. Like. Tics. Maybe smaller. They could probably occupy a velcro strap on my brace with about 900 of their friends and still have room to party. Yes...I did not wear my brace for the first half of the day so I could give it time to rid itself of these animals.
You know what? I bet this was no accident. I bet someone is out there helping me. They're going...you're having anxiety about a 3rd knee surgery? I've got just the remedy. A brand new issue. Boom. Done. I get it. Friday I disinfect cabinetry of dirty maggots. Tuesday. I take on my tri-fecta of misplaced ligaments. TGIF!
So I sat at work, which has been quite busy with the general act of trying to anticipate the crap that will go on during my short-lived absence next week. Tall order. And you know what I did? I imagined all of the little places these maggots might be living. Good god I hope they are only in the 2 cabinets that I found them in. You know when you jump up on a countertop and grab whatever you need from the top shelf? I can't freaking do that! The act of viewing my high-shelf components is so slow that I actually feel like maggots will jump out and attack me before I can even full extend up there!
They are EXTREMELY small. Like. Tics. Maybe smaller. They could probably occupy a velcro strap on my brace with about 900 of their friends and still have room to party. Yes...I did not wear my brace for the first half of the day so I could give it time to rid itself of these animals.
You know what? I bet this was no accident. I bet someone is out there helping me. They're going...you're having anxiety about a 3rd knee surgery? I've got just the remedy. A brand new issue. Boom. Done. I get it. Friday I disinfect cabinetry of dirty maggots. Tuesday. I take on my tri-fecta of misplaced ligaments. TGIF!