What a sad cliche, right? Honesty is the best policy, life isn't fair...yadda yadda yadda. We understand the concepts, but in the heat of the moment, when the writing is on the wall, these aren't always the easiest phrases to come by.
Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter if its on an exam, on a significant other, or on your diet. In my workout class, sometimes we have AMRAP workouts (as many rounds as possible). It's where there are multiple exercises set up and you have a certain amount of reps you have to do for each exercise. Once you've completed the cycle, that's one round. Well for those of us who are competitive (ahem, yes that's me), we want to "win" by doing the most AMRAPs. We also are hyper aware of what others are doing (or not doing). My best friend who I go to workout class with told me about this girl she caught cheating in the workout. They were both two of the fastest, and the one girl kept skipping an exercise or shaving reps. Now look...there aren't any medals handed out, but you still want to "win" and you want to "win" right. Seeing someone cheat is the ultimate disgrace.
But what can you do about it right? It's a workout class...and like somebody's mother somewhere always says, two wrongs don't make a right. You kind of just have to bite your lip and take an honest second rather than matching the mishap of cheating from the dishonest 1st. Such is life, right?
I've cheated a couple of times in my life. I wrote other people's term papers in college for money once or twice, copied homework in Algebra class, and forged my parents signature in the good ole days of notes being sent home (before parents had access to all things via the intraweb). But for the most part, I don't cheat.
We are supposed to turn in a "Meal Plan" each week that outlines what we eat meal by meal and then there is a nutritionist who replies back with suggestions. When I first started the Meal Plan, I didn't even look at the front of it that had what you were SUPPOSED to eat outlined for the week. So I turned it in and the nutritionist would send cute little emails that went something like this:
"Dear Macie: Yikes! Lots of carbs! Try substituting bread with a protein like quinoa."
"Dear Macie: Oh boy! It's nice to have a sweet treat once in a while, but be careful of having one ALL THE TIME and EVERY day."
"Dear Macie: Try adding more vegetables into your diet and avoid skipping eating for long periods of time. You can get creative with how you prepare the vegetables."
She was obviously a very nice nutritionist - and I have, in some ways, finally heeded her advice, but my point is that I was honest. I wrote down what I ate. Not what I was supposed to eat. It is slightly embarrassing, I suppose, but it also allows the criticism and suggestions to be real. I think cheating happens when we are vulnerable or unprepared and irrational with ourselves. I hardly think there are times when cheating occurs because one has thoughtfully planned on it.
ACL recovery is the same way. There are these moments of vulnerability. Feeling sluggish, insecure, and frustrated can lead to "I don't care what my PT says, I'm going to run." Or something like that. And maybe you do. And maybe it feels fine. But maybe down the road, your recovery doesn't go the way it should (or maybe not - maybe you get away with it). But the quick-fire reaction without truly thinking it through is that short term gain for long term pain - literally (patellar tendonitis, arthritis, etc.). What feels liberating and worth it in the moment can also be the most damaging reality down the road.
Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter if its on an exam, on a significant other, or on your diet. In my workout class, sometimes we have AMRAP workouts (as many rounds as possible). It's where there are multiple exercises set up and you have a certain amount of reps you have to do for each exercise. Once you've completed the cycle, that's one round. Well for those of us who are competitive (ahem, yes that's me), we want to "win" by doing the most AMRAPs. We also are hyper aware of what others are doing (or not doing). My best friend who I go to workout class with told me about this girl she caught cheating in the workout. They were both two of the fastest, and the one girl kept skipping an exercise or shaving reps. Now look...there aren't any medals handed out, but you still want to "win" and you want to "win" right. Seeing someone cheat is the ultimate disgrace.
But what can you do about it right? It's a workout class...and like somebody's mother somewhere always says, two wrongs don't make a right. You kind of just have to bite your lip and take an honest second rather than matching the mishap of cheating from the dishonest 1st. Such is life, right?
I've cheated a couple of times in my life. I wrote other people's term papers in college for money once or twice, copied homework in Algebra class, and forged my parents signature in the good ole days of notes being sent home (before parents had access to all things via the intraweb). But for the most part, I don't cheat.
We are supposed to turn in a "Meal Plan" each week that outlines what we eat meal by meal and then there is a nutritionist who replies back with suggestions. When I first started the Meal Plan, I didn't even look at the front of it that had what you were SUPPOSED to eat outlined for the week. So I turned it in and the nutritionist would send cute little emails that went something like this:
"Dear Macie: Yikes! Lots of carbs! Try substituting bread with a protein like quinoa."
"Dear Macie: Oh boy! It's nice to have a sweet treat once in a while, but be careful of having one ALL THE TIME and EVERY day."
"Dear Macie: Try adding more vegetables into your diet and avoid skipping eating for long periods of time. You can get creative with how you prepare the vegetables."
She was obviously a very nice nutritionist - and I have, in some ways, finally heeded her advice, but my point is that I was honest. I wrote down what I ate. Not what I was supposed to eat. It is slightly embarrassing, I suppose, but it also allows the criticism and suggestions to be real. I think cheating happens when we are vulnerable or unprepared and irrational with ourselves. I hardly think there are times when cheating occurs because one has thoughtfully planned on it.
ACL recovery is the same way. There are these moments of vulnerability. Feeling sluggish, insecure, and frustrated can lead to "I don't care what my PT says, I'm going to run." Or something like that. And maybe you do. And maybe it feels fine. But maybe down the road, your recovery doesn't go the way it should (or maybe not - maybe you get away with it). But the quick-fire reaction without truly thinking it through is that short term gain for long term pain - literally (patellar tendonitis, arthritis, etc.). What feels liberating and worth it in the moment can also be the most damaging reality down the road.
Kinda like cheating ON someone. Feeling this moment of newness and power and desirability is tempting and lush and maybe even overwhelmingly juicy. It's the liken of cruising through the breeze, running along the water, and having all of that freedom from knee surgery that you're not supposed to be doing yet. It's almost exciting, I imagine.
And then there are the repercussions. Guilt. Yes, you soulless suckers, I think all cheaters have to feel at least some level of guilt. Shame. A lost relationship. Loss of friends, community, whatever. "Getting away" with cheating doesn't exist. As long as YOU know what you've done, you suffer. Because at any moment, you can be exposed for the rotten, scummy, deceitful being you are (or so I assume you are).
Same with my knee. Eventually the truth will prevail, so to speak, and things will end up with karmic retribution. While it's hard to see that in the present, I think the badass attitude of not giving up on things because of their difficulty or past scornful implications is awesome - not unrealistic or naive. (Sometimes I have to remind myself that, too). I think I walked the fine line of cheating this week. Not in a clear, purposeful way, but in a "I know better" way.
Remember the worry? That I tore my meniscus? I stopped my workout class, saw my PT, and then went into my surgeon within the span of a few days. My PT was worried I tore my meniscus AND my ACL, I had about 6 hours of impending doom, and then my surgeon took one quick look and couple of touches to the kneecap, and deemed me fine - just not ready to run.
AMEN! I was free!
Except that my knee still exhibited the same swelling and symptoms that caused concern in the first place. I had a day and a half in between the surgeon's visit and my next PT appointment. So you know what I did? I worked out. Was I told not to? Not exactly. Was I feeling better? Yes. Swelling gone? Meh...also not exactly. So I don't think in the deviation rulings of cheating if I really hit the numbers hard, but I did push the boundaries just a little bit. Insert vulnerable, unprepared, and slightly irrational.
Lucky for me, my PT gave me clear instructions of what to do/not to do in regards to workouts, and she is still convinced that my meniscus is torn. Cheating the protocol would mean starting my running since I'm supposed to be ready as well as lying and telling her I'm doing all of my exercises at home when sometimes I forget or am frankly just too lazy. And the outcome? I'd be happily running (finally) and give way to a pleased Physical Therapist.
And then I'd suffer down the road. Either with a torn meniscus, ACL, both, or some other type of mind-numbing issue. Short term gain for long term pain? No thanks.
So today (and all days, presumably), I choose not to cheat. I choose to suffer through the tough moments, lean on my support system, and work towards earning every bit of progress - kinda like studying hard for an exam and then actually doing well on it. Lots of work, but to stay savvy with irking cliches, hard work pays off. It's tedious, and frustrating, and daunting, but what kind of person would I be if I gave up a healthy knee for a small slew of gratifying, yet wrongful moments? Probably the same type of person who gives up a healthy relationship for a small slew of icky pleasure.
Nah, I choose the former. Cheaters never prosper, and I certainly plan on prospering my way to a full recovery. Here's to following the rules and taking baby steps - I've never been cooler.
And then there are the repercussions. Guilt. Yes, you soulless suckers, I think all cheaters have to feel at least some level of guilt. Shame. A lost relationship. Loss of friends, community, whatever. "Getting away" with cheating doesn't exist. As long as YOU know what you've done, you suffer. Because at any moment, you can be exposed for the rotten, scummy, deceitful being you are (or so I assume you are).
Same with my knee. Eventually the truth will prevail, so to speak, and things will end up with karmic retribution. While it's hard to see that in the present, I think the badass attitude of not giving up on things because of their difficulty or past scornful implications is awesome - not unrealistic or naive. (Sometimes I have to remind myself that, too). I think I walked the fine line of cheating this week. Not in a clear, purposeful way, but in a "I know better" way.
Remember the worry? That I tore my meniscus? I stopped my workout class, saw my PT, and then went into my surgeon within the span of a few days. My PT was worried I tore my meniscus AND my ACL, I had about 6 hours of impending doom, and then my surgeon took one quick look and couple of touches to the kneecap, and deemed me fine - just not ready to run.
AMEN! I was free!
Except that my knee still exhibited the same swelling and symptoms that caused concern in the first place. I had a day and a half in between the surgeon's visit and my next PT appointment. So you know what I did? I worked out. Was I told not to? Not exactly. Was I feeling better? Yes. Swelling gone? Meh...also not exactly. So I don't think in the deviation rulings of cheating if I really hit the numbers hard, but I did push the boundaries just a little bit. Insert vulnerable, unprepared, and slightly irrational.
Lucky for me, my PT gave me clear instructions of what to do/not to do in regards to workouts, and she is still convinced that my meniscus is torn. Cheating the protocol would mean starting my running since I'm supposed to be ready as well as lying and telling her I'm doing all of my exercises at home when sometimes I forget or am frankly just too lazy. And the outcome? I'd be happily running (finally) and give way to a pleased Physical Therapist.
And then I'd suffer down the road. Either with a torn meniscus, ACL, both, or some other type of mind-numbing issue. Short term gain for long term pain? No thanks.
So today (and all days, presumably), I choose not to cheat. I choose to suffer through the tough moments, lean on my support system, and work towards earning every bit of progress - kinda like studying hard for an exam and then actually doing well on it. Lots of work, but to stay savvy with irking cliches, hard work pays off. It's tedious, and frustrating, and daunting, but what kind of person would I be if I gave up a healthy knee for a small slew of gratifying, yet wrongful moments? Probably the same type of person who gives up a healthy relationship for a small slew of icky pleasure.
Nah, I choose the former. Cheaters never prosper, and I certainly plan on prospering my way to a full recovery. Here's to following the rules and taking baby steps - I've never been cooler.